This is one of the questions I’m asked most often.

After more than two decades of training, fostering, rescuing, and advocating for rescue dogs, many people were surprised when I chose a purpose-bred puppy instead of adopting again.

The truth is…

I tried.

For three to four months before bringing home Jemi Blue, I searched extensively for my next dog. I wasn’t looking only in Connecticut or New York—I searched rescues across the country and was willing to travel for the right dog.

Throughout my life, rescue dogs have always seemed to find me. More often than not, I’d look at a dog’s picture and immediately feel a connection. I call it a “soul melt.” It’s difficult to explain, but when it happens, I simply know. I’ve helped countless friends find their dogs the very same way.

This time was different.

It was the longest, hardest, and most exhaustive search I’d ever done for a dog.

Normally, my dogs find me. Since 2003, that’s simply how it’s always happened.

That’s how I found Jada.

That’s how I found Jameson (“Jaymo”).

That’s how I found Jæger.

That’s how I found Jemma.

This time…

Nothing.

For months I searched rescue after rescue throughout the country. Every dog I connected with was adopted before I could get there. Living out of state and running a busy training business meant I couldn’t always drive immediately, and time after time I received the same heartbreaking message: someone else had gotten there first.

Ironically, several of those rescues later contacted me after those same dogs had been returned, asking if I was still interested.

By then, I’d already found my dog.

I even expanded my search to include Pit Bull Mixes. After falling in love with Tilly during her Board & Train, I began looking at Husky × Pit Bull mixes and scheduled meetings with several rescue dogs.

Tilly reminded me of something important.

She was an incredible dog, and I absolutely adored her. But living and training with her also reminded me what I was truly searching for.

I wasn’t looking for a certain appearance.

I was looking for a Pit Bull temperament and a Pit Bull nervous system—the same calm, grounded, deeply connected qualities I’d experienced with every one of my dogs since 2003.

Many Pit Bull Mixes are absolutely incredible dogs, and I recommend them often.

But I also noticed something.

After spending an entire day—or even an entire week—with many of them, I’d feel lighter when they went home.

Not because they were difficult.

Because my nervous system had quietly climbed aboard theirs.

Many mixes inherit higher environmental awareness, stronger herding tendencies, greater stimulation, or more intensity from the other half of their genetics.

For many families, that’s exactly what they’re looking for.

For me…

It isn’t.

My dogs have always done the opposite.

They ground me.

They steady me.

The moment they lean against me or press their body into mine, my nervous system settles.

My anxiety fades.

That’s what Jada did.

That’s what Jaymo did.

That’s what Jæger did.

That’s what Jemma did.

And that’s what I needed again.

I had also never owned a purpose-bred dog.

Jemi Blue is the first.

I’ve never been against responsible breeders.

Quite the opposite.

Ethical breeders preserve healthy bloodlines, prioritize temperament and health, perform genetic testing, and remain responsible for every puppy they produce throughout its lifetime.

What I’ve always opposed are irresponsible breeders.

Backyard breeders.

Puppy mills.

People breeding because they think their dog is cute.

People breeding for quick money.

People producing litter after litter without understanding genetics, health, temperament, or lifelong responsibility.

Those are the dogs that too often end up in shelters.

Whenever someone asks whether they should rescue or purchase from a breeder, my answer is almost always the same:

Try rescue first.

Ironically…

I ended up taking my own advice.

I just couldn’t find my dog.

Eventually…

I gave up.

I stopped refreshing rescue pages every morning.

I stopped checking applications.

I stopped searching.

Then my phone buzzed.

A message from Mandy at Kaotic Kennels.

“Puppies ready to go home!!”

Months earlier, I’d stumbled across one of her puppy photos while the litter still looked like tiny little hamsters.

One puppy had quietly stayed in the back of my mind.

I never even called.

I was still determined to rescue.

Now she sent updated photos.

I opened them…

…and there she was.

Jemi Blue.

The moment I looked into her eyes, I felt that familiar soul melt I’d been searching for in every rescue listing.

I just knew.

God had spoken.

My dogs had spoken.

This was my girl.

When I looked at Jemi, I saw little reminders of every dog who had shaped my life.

Her beautiful blue fawn coat reminded me of Jada.

The white blaze running up her nose brought me right back to Jameson (“Jaymo”).

Her blue-gray nose, striking eyeliner, and widow’s peak reminded me of Jæger.

And then there was Jemma.

Jemma had passed away on March 4, 2026.

Jemi Blue was born on March 25, 2026.

Just three weeks later.

Jemma wasn’t simply another dog in my life.

She challenged me more than any dog I’d ever known.

She forced me to become a better trainer, a better communicator, and a far more observant student of canine behavior.

She was brilliantly intelligent, endlessly determined, and from the very beginning I knew she was going to be a force to be reckoned with.

Our relationship wasn’t easy.

That’s exactly what made it so extraordinary.

When I looked into Jemi’s eyes, I felt that same quiet intelligence.

That same steadiness.

That same presence.

That’s why I named her Jemi Blue.

Her name carries a piece of Jemma with it—not because I was trying to replace her, but because I wanted a part of her legacy to live on in the next chapter of my life.

Jemma’s story deserves one of its own, and someday I’ll tell it. She forever changed the way I train, the way I communicate with dogs, and ultimately the trainer I’ve become.

Looking back now…

I don’t believe I found Jemi by accident.

I believe I was led to her.

Sometimes God answers our prayers differently than we expect.

Sometimes our hearts become so fixed on one path that we don’t realize another has quietly been prepared for us all along.

After months of searching for every other dog…

I finally found the one who had been waiting for me the whole time.